{"title":"Leaving Gifts That Survive The Move","description":"\u003cp\u003eBuying a leaving gift for a colleague means spending other people's money, by Friday, in front of everyone.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThe Dramatic Exit Box Light says DRAMATIC EXIT. The Hot Tracks Mug Warmer turns a mug into a record deck. Drink Buddy nags them about water in a building where nobody knows them yet.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eAll of it fits in a bag and lands on the new desk.\u003c\/p\u003e","products":[{"product_id":"moodboard-desk-plaque-with-magnetic-letters","title":"Moodboard Desk Plaque with Magnetic Letters","description":"\u003ch3\u003eBecause your feelings deserve proper signage.\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eMeet Mood Board—a metal desk plaque with magnetic letters, so you can spell out whatever vibe you’re pretending to have today. Inspirational quote? Passive-aggressive message? Existential crisis in Helvetica? Totally up to you.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIt’s low-tech, high-impact, and just the right amount of petty.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Mustard London","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":42443126833329,"sku":"M16216A","price":12.0,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0557\/1248\/1457\/files\/Mustard_Lifestyle_039_edited_1200b.jpg?v=1708300398"},{"product_id":"wild-dining-gina-giraffe-designed-dining-plate","title":"Gina Giraffe Plate","description":"\u003ch3\u003eElevated taste.\u003cem data-end=\"244\" data-start=\"216\"\u003e Literally.\u003c\/em\u003e\n\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"\" data-end=\"434\" data-start=\"248\"\u003eMeet Gina. She’s 6 feet of style, sass, and silent judgment.\u003cbr data-end=\"311\" data-start=\"308\"\u003e\u003cbr\u003eShe brings neck-level elegance to your mealtime, whether you're serving roasted veg or last night's questionable leftovers.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"\" data-end=\"485\" data-start=\"436\"\u003eCeramic. Dishwasher safe. Gracefully unimpressed.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Mustard London","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":42443127193777,"sku":"M12006D","price":12.0,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0557\/1248\/1457\/products\/wild-dining-gina-giraffe-939991.jpg?v=1774922363"},{"product_id":"wild-dining-panda-animal-dinner-plates","title":"Patricia Panda Plate","description":"\u003ch3 data-start=\"226\" data-end=\"292\"\u003eFor when your dinner needs more attitude and less routine.\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"294\" data-end=\"571\" class=\"\"\u003eIntroducing the Patricia - because your food deserves a plate that’s as chill as your Friday night plans. This isn’t just a plate; it’s an experience. Featuring a cute, but slightly judgmental panda, it’s perfect for turning your mundane meals into something \u003cem data-start=\"564\" data-end=\"570\"\u003ewild\u003c\/em\u003e.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"573\" data-end=\"733\" class=\"\"\u003eSure, it holds food, but it also holds the secret to adding personality to your dining experience. Don’t just eat your meals. \u003cem data-start=\"699\" data-end=\"733\"\u003eLet your plate judge you for it.\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Mustard London","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":42443127357617,"sku":"M12006C","price":12.0,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0557\/1248\/1457\/products\/wild-dining-patricia-panda-379511.jpg?v=1774922384"},{"product_id":"wild-dining-gorilla","title":"Garry Gorilla Plate","description":"\u003ch3 data-start=\"220\" data-end=\"249\"\u003eBowtie on. Judgment ready.\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"251\" data-end=\"406\" class=\"\"\u003eGarry doesn’t mess around. He’s a gorilla with posture, presence, and a bowtie so sharp it could file your taxes. He doesn’t roar—he \u003cem data-start=\"384\" data-end=\"403\"\u003eraises an eyebrow\u003c\/em\u003e.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"408\" data-end=\"564\" class=\"\"\u003eThis is the plate for people who believe dinner should come with a side of quiet intimidation and solid eye contact. Regal? Yes. Approachable? Not really.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"566\" data-end=\"691\" class=\"\"\u003ePerfect for dinner parties, passive-aggressive meals with in-laws, or anyone who enjoys their food under gentle surveillance.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Mustard London","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":42443127652529,"sku":"M12006A","price":12.0,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0557\/1248\/1457\/products\/wild-dining-garry-gorilla-992628.jpg?v=1774922356"},{"product_id":"wild-dining-courtney-cat-design-dining-plate","title":"Wild Dining Courtney","description":"\u003ch3\u003eFine dining, feline attitude.\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"213\" data-end=\"317\" class=\"\"\u003eMeet Courtney. She’s a cat. She’s on a plate. And she’s judging your table manners with quiet intensity.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"319\" data-end=\"455\" class=\"\"\u003eIdeal for dinner, snacks, or dramatically arranged cheese. Not ideal for anyone who can’t handle a little side-eye with their spaghetti.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"457\" data-end=\"500\" class=\"\"\u003eCeramic. Dishwasher safe. Full of opinions.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Mustard London","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":42443127849137,"sku":"M12006E","price":12.0,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0557\/1248\/1457\/files\/wild-dining-courtney-5518087.png?v=1781715190"},{"product_id":"wild-dining-andy-alpaca","title":"Andy Alpaca Plate","description":"\u003ch3 data-start=\"226\" data-end=\"267\"\u003eToo cool to chew with his mouth closed.\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"269\" data-end=\"426\" class=\"\"\u003eMeet Andy. He’s an alpaca straight out of the ‘90s—rocking a purple shell suit, wraparound sunglasses, and enough misplaced confidence to fill a VHS shelf.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"428\" data-end=\"675\" class=\"\"\u003eThis plate doesn’t ask for attention. It demands it—loudly, unapologetically, and probably while blasting a cassette.\u003cbr data-start=\"545\" data-end=\"548\"\u003ePerfect for people who peaked in 1996, still say “as if,” or just want dinnerware with more personality than their houseplants.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Mustard London","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":42443127881905,"sku":"M12006G","price":12.0,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0557\/1248\/1457\/products\/wild-dining-andy-alpaca-211571.jpg?v=1774922323"},{"product_id":"wild-dining-larry-lion-design-dining-plate","title":"Larry Lion Plate","description":"\u003ch3\u003eHe’s not just here for the food.\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"220\" data-end=\"389\" class=\"\"\u003eLarry wears a biker jacket and 80s aviators because he peaked in 1987 and never looked back. He’s all attitude, zero cutlery, and absolutely not the type to share fries.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"391\" data-end=\"502\" class=\"\"\u003ePerfect for gifting, plate-hogging, or giving the fussiest eater at the table a little main-character energy.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Mustard London","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":42443127914673,"sku":"M12006B","price":12.0,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0557\/1248\/1457\/products\/wild-dining-larry-lion-369695.jpg?v=1774922371"},{"product_id":"wild-dining-bear-animal-dinner-plates","title":"Bobby Bear Plate","description":"\u003ch3 data-start=\"188\" data-end=\"249\"\u003eLoves brunch. Hates small talk.\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"251\" data-end=\"438\" class=\"\"\u003eBobby is a bear who wears red plaid, drinks coffee out of enamel mugs, and definitely used the word “foraged” unironically last week. The beard’s invisible, but emotionally? It’s there.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"440\" data-end=\"631\" class=\"\"\u003eThis is the plate for people who take their food seriously—but not themselves. Ideal for fussy eaters, gift-givers, and anyone who’s ever described their aesthetic as “lumberjack-adjacent.”\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"633\" data-end=\"680\" class=\"\"\u003eCeramic. Dishwasher safe. Flannel not included.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Mustard London","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":42443128176817,"sku":"M12006J","price":12.0,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0557\/1248\/1457\/products\/wild-dining-bruce-bear-535706.jpg?v=1774922314"},{"product_id":"wild-dining-cockatoo","title":"Colin Cockatoo Plate","description":"\u003ch3 data-start=\"169\" data-end=\"231\"\u003eBowties \u0026amp; Big Opinions\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"233\" data-end=\"426\" class=\"\"\u003eMeet Collin. He’s a cockatoo with strong opinions about coffee, vinyl, and dinnerware design. He wears a bowtie unironically and insists his food tastes better when served on artisan ceramic.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"428\" data-end=\"592\" class=\"\"\u003eThis plate is perfect for anyone who alphabetises their spices, refuses to eat beige food, or just wants their dining experience to feel a little more... curated.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"428\" data-end=\"592\" class=\"\"\u003eGiftable, judgmental, and weirdly relatable.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Mustard London","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":42443128373425,"sku":"M12006H","price":12.0,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0557\/1248\/1457\/products\/wild-dining-colin-cockatoo-710144.jpg?v=1774922331"},{"product_id":"cactus-leaf-crochet-kit-for-beginners","title":"Cactus Leaf Crochet Kit For Beginners: Leaf","description":"\u003ch3\u003eFor when you want a plant, but not the responsibility.\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIntroducing the Cactus Crochet Kit—the ideal solution for those who love the idea of owning a cactus but don't feel like committing to watering it. Crochet your own cactus, and feel the satisfaction of growing something… that will never need sunlight or care. It’s the perfect plant for your commitment issues.\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Mustard London","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":42443129454769,"sku":"M15028","price":12.0,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0557\/1248\/1457\/products\/cactus-leaf-crochet-kit-for-beginners-leaf-955714.jpg?v=1774921571"},{"product_id":"fun-cactus-rainbow-learn-crochet-kit","title":"Fun Cactus Rainbow: Learn Crochet Kit","description":"\u003ch3\u003eBecause who needs real plants when you can make a fake one that won't judge your lack of responsibility?\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIntroducing the Cactus Crochet Kit—the perfect solution for those who want a plant, but don’t want the hassle of watering, sunlight, or pretending they know what “cactus care” actually involves. It’s a cactus you’ll never kill, and honestly, that's more than we can say for most plants.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003ePerfect for crafters, procrastinators, or anyone who wants to “grow” something without any emotional commitment.\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Mustard London","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":42443129815217,"sku":"M15028B","price":12.0,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0557\/1248\/1457\/products\/fun-cactus-rainbow-learn-crochet-kit-907175.jpg?v=1774921870"},{"product_id":"instant-coaster","title":"Instant Coaster","description":"\u003ch2\u003eProtects your table. Exposes your memories.\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThese are glass coasters shaped like Polaroid photos—except instead of instant prints, you get to insert your own pics. Like a photo frame, but flatter. And wetter.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eInstant Coasters let you relive the good times while preventing water rings from ruining your furniture and your reputation.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Mustard London","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":42443130470577,"sku":"M15014","price":12.0,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0557\/1248\/1457\/products\/instant-coaster-395773.jpg?v=1774922011"},{"product_id":"hot-tracks-mug-warmer","title":"Hot Tracks Mug Warmer","description":"\u003ch3\u003eSpins zero records. Warms all the caffeine.\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eMeet Hot Tracks—a vinyl-record-shaped USB cup warmer for people who take their coffee as seriously as their ironic taste in music.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIt doesn’t play tunes, but it does keep your drink warm while you pretend to be productive and judge everyone else's playlists from a distance.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Mustard London","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":42443130765489,"sku":"M11015","price":15.0,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0557\/1248\/1457\/products\/hot-tracks-mug-warmer-759083.jpg?v=1774921971"},{"product_id":"cat-light-sitting-led-neon-light-upright","title":"Cat Light Sitting LED Neon Light \u003e Upright","description":"\u003ch3\u003eBecause your room deserves a little more meow lighting.\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThis is a silhouette of a cat sitting upright, glowing softly like the only judgment-free thing in your life. Powered by USB or battery, it’s as flexible as your plans for the day—except it actually does something useful.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIt won’t fetch your slippers or offer emotional support. But it will silently glow at you with just the right amount of attitude.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Mustard London","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":42448903602353,"sku":"M11049","price":20.0,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0557\/1248\/1457\/files\/cat-light-sitting-led-neon-light-upright-5374249.png?v=1781715138"},{"product_id":"drink-buddy","title":"Drink Buddy Water Hydration Reminder","description":"\u003ch3 data-end=\"228\" data-start=\"150\"\u003eStay hydrated. Stay vaguely functional.\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"\" data-end=\"350\" data-start=\"230\"\u003eIt’s a coaster. It tells you to drink water. Because basic human functions are now app-integrated and desk-accessorized.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"\" data-end=\"488\" data-start=\"352\"\u003eKeeps your desk dry and your guilt levels high. Subtle enough to be ignored. Persistent enough to make you question your life choices.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Mustard London","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":42456010653873,"sku":"M11006","price":15.0,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0557\/1248\/1457\/products\/drink-buddy-354933.jpg?v=1774921660"},{"product_id":"persian-rug-mug-warmer","title":"Persian Rug Mug Warmer","description":"\u003ch2\u003eAdds warmth and questionable luxury to your desk.\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThis is a USB-powered cup warmer shaped like a miniature Persian rug. Because clearly, your coffee deserves a more cultured surface than your sad, peeling coaster.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIt doesn’t fly. It doesn’t chant ancient wisdom. It just warms your drink while making your workspace feel slightly more mysterious.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Mustard London","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":42479400059057,"sku":"M11016","price":15.0,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0557\/1248\/1457\/products\/persian-rug-mug-warmer-877022.png?v=1774922067"},{"product_id":"sushi-wireless-computer-mouse","title":"Sushi Wireless Computer Mouse","description":"\u003ch3\u003eClickbait, but make it edible-looking.\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIt’s a mouse. It’s sushi. It’s confusing, mildly distracting, and 100% functional (unlike you before coffee).\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThis wireless wonder rolls smoothly, connects instantly, and looks like it should come with soy sauce. It doesn’t. We checked.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Mustard London","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":42479407595697,"sku":"M11046B","price":20.0,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0557\/1248\/1457\/files\/sushi-wireless-computer-mouse-3989166.png?v=1781300835"},{"product_id":"cat-vac-mini-desk-vacuum","title":"Cat Vac","description":"\u003ch3\u003eYour desk deserves better than crumbs. \u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eMeet Cat Vac—a handheld desk vacuum shaped like a cat. It doesn’t shed fur, but it will happily clean up after your snacks, your coffee spills, and that existential mess you’re avoiding.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIt’s small, effective, and way more charming than your actual cat, who is currently judging your life choices from a distance.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Mustard London","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":42479411888305,"sku":"M11044B","price":20.0,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0557\/1248\/1457\/files\/cat-vac-1582558.png?v=1781715137"},{"product_id":"robo-vac","title":"Robo Vac 2000","description":"\u003ch3\u003eThe Crumb Compliance Officer\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eFinally—a coworker who actually cleans up after you. Picks up crumbs, dust, and small regrets.\u003cbr data-end=\"129\" data-start=\"126\"\u003e\u003cbr\u003eRuns on rechargeable batteries, not coffee. Doesn’t talk back. Doesn’t unionize.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Mustard London","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":42479429714097,"sku":"M11044","price":24.0,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0557\/1248\/1457\/products\/robo-vac-541908.jpg?v=1774922202"},{"product_id":"happy-face-cup-warmer","title":"Happy Face USB Mug Warmer","description":"\u003ch3\u003eBecause cold coffee is a crime. Apparently.\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThis is a cup warmer. It plugs into USB. It has a happy face.\u003cbr\u003eWhich is ironic, considering how dead inside you probably are before caffeine.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eSmiley keeps your drink warm while pretending everything’s fine—just like you at your 9am meeting.\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Mustard London","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":42806312960177,"sku":"M11018","price":15.0,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0557\/1248\/1457\/files\/Mustard_Lifestyle_009_1200.jpg?v=1708298996"},{"product_id":"baguette-keyboard-rest","title":"Baguette Keyboard Rest","description":"\u003ch3 data-start=\"180\" data-end=\"250\"\u003eComfort so good, it’s almost suspicious.\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"252\" data-end=\"449\" class=\"\"\u003eLooks like a baguette. Feels like a cloud. Supports your wrists like a true carb-based icon.  It’s memory foam, which means it remembers your wrists better than most people remember your birthday.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"451\" data-end=\"560\" class=\"\"\u003ePairs well with long emails, mild existential dread, and the fantasy of quitting everything to open a bakery.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Mustard London","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":42836873674929,"sku":"M11052","price":15.0,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0557\/1248\/1457\/files\/baguette-keyboard-rest-5997610.png?v=1781300838"},{"product_id":"polaroid-desktop-organiser","title":"Polaroid Desktop Organiser","description":"\u003ch3\u003e\u003cspan\u003eOrganise Your Desk in An Instant\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eThis officially licensed Polaroid organizer brings the click-and-capture fun to your desk, minus the \"tasteful\" nudes. Perfect for pens, pencils, or even that emergency \"secret stash\". \u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Mustard London","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":43738614530225,"sku":"M16231","price":20.0,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0557\/1248\/1457\/files\/polaroid-desktop-organiser-605438.jpg?v=1712938484"},{"product_id":"polaroid-photo-holder-set","title":"Polaroid Photo Holder Set","description":"\u003ch3\u003eThey don’t take pictures. But they look like they did.\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThese are mini Polaroid-style cameras that don’t actually do anything… except hold your photos and look unnecessarily adorable while doing it.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eSold as a pair, because your memories deserve symmetrical support—and your shelf needed more things that spark mild confusion.\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Mustard London","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":43745364869297,"sku":"M16240","price":15.0,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0557\/1248\/1457\/files\/polaroid-photo-holder-set-2-in-a-pack-308379.jpg?v=1713021137"},{"product_id":"hotdog-keyboard-rest","title":"Hotdog Keyboard Rest","description":"\u003ch3\u003eFinally, a snack that supports you.\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThis is a hot dog. Kind of.  \u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eIt’s soft, squishy, and weirdly comforting—just like the real thing, minus the mess and existential sodium levels.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eDesigned to sit under your wrists while you type, doom-scroll, or pretend to be productive. It won’t judge your typing speed or your browser history.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Mustard London","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":43745379090609,"sku":"M11061","price":20.0,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0557\/1248\/1457\/files\/hotdog-keyboard-rest-563694.jpg?v=1713021131"},{"product_id":"game-hub-4-port-usb-hub","title":"Game Hub 2000 \u003e  4 Port USB Hub","description":"\u003ch3\u003eOld-school looks. New-school functionality.\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe Retro Hub is a USB hub disguised as a cassette tape—because your desk needed a throwback and your laptop ran out of ports in 2017.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIt doesn’t play music, but it does connect four devices at once, which is basically the modern version of magic. Bonus points for confusing everyone under the age of 20.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Mustard London","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":51896467292538,"sku":"M11070","price":15.0,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":false}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0557\/1248\/1457\/files\/game-hub-2000-4-port-usb-hub-772666.jpg?v=1731167446"},{"product_id":"takeaway-pen-pot","title":"Takeaway Pen Pot","description":"\u003ch3\u003eBecause your pens deserve noodles too.\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIt looks like a Chinese takeaway carton. \u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eIt’s actually ceramic. And it holds pens instead of pad thai. 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It adds, subtracts, and mildly distracts—everything a solid desk accessory should do.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cspan\u003eIt’s not real chocolate, which is disappointing. But it will help you calculate how many real chocolate bars you can afford after rent.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Mustard London","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":55200239321466,"sku":"M16247","price":12.0,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0557\/1248\/1457\/files\/choculator-673369.jpg?v=1743275947"},{"product_id":"gummy-bear-mouse-rest","title":"Gummy Bear Mouse Rest","description":"\u003ch3\u003eSquish responsibly.\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eLooks like a bear. Functions like ergonomic support. Confuses everyone who walks by your desk. So, a win.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cspan\u003eSoft and squishy - this gummy bear wrist rest is here to cradle your wrist and your increasingly questionable life choices.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cspan\u003eBecause carpal tunnel is real, and you deserve comfort shaped like a childhood snack.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Mustard London","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":55200497369466,"sku":"M11082A","price":12.0,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0557\/1248\/1457\/files\/Gummy_Bear_Mouse_Rest_Pink.png?v=1755359552"},{"product_id":"gummy-bear-mouse-rest-green","title":"Gummy Bear Mouse Rest","description":"\u003ch3\u003eSquish responsibly.\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eLooks like a bear. Functions like ergonomic support. Confuses everyone who walks by your desk. So, a win.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cspan\u003eSoft and squishy - this gummy bear wrist rest is here to cradle your wrist and your increasingly questionable life choices.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cspan\u003eBecause carpal tunnel is real, and you deserve comfort shaped like a childhood snack.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Mustard London","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":55756780208506,"sku":"M11082B","price":12.0,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0557\/1248\/1457\/files\/gummy-bear-mouse-rest-785076.png?v=1755357176"},{"product_id":"red-gummy-bear-mouse-rest","title":"Gummy Bear Mouse Rest","description":"\u003ch3\u003eSquish responsibly.\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eLooks like a bear. Functions like ergonomic support. Confuses everyone who walks by your desk. So, a win.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cspan\u003eSoft and squishy - this gummy bear wrist rest is here to cradle your wrist and your increasingly questionable life choices.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cspan\u003eBecause carpal tunnel is real, and you deserve comfort shaped like a childhood snack.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Mustard London","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":55200634438010,"sku":"M11082C","price":12.0,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0557\/1248\/1457\/files\/gummy-bear-mouse-rest-199967.jpg?v=1743275940"},{"product_id":"juicy-boosta","title":"Juicy Boosta","description":"\u003ch3\u003eJuiced up and reeled in.\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eIt looks like bubblegum. It’s actually a USB-C charging cable. Welcome to the golden age of disappointment - but also, convenience.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cspan\u003eRetractable. Pocketable. Weirdly cute.  \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003eIt won’t freshen your breath, but it will juice up your phone or your laptop before it dies in the middle of a group chat meltdown.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cspan\u003eTangle-free. Drama-free. Gum-free\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Mustard London","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":55202297381242,"sku":"M11080A","price":12.0,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0557\/1248\/1457\/files\/juicy-boosta-800398.png?v=1743358751"},{"product_id":"juicy-boosta-green","title":"Juicy Boosta","description":"\u003ch3\u003eJuiced up and reeled in.\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eIt looks like bubblegum. It’s actually a USB-C charging cable. 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This Sriracha bottle-shaped pencil case holds your pens, pencils, and questionable life choices in one spicy zip.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cspan\u003eMild chaos on the outside. Extra hot mess on the inside.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Mustard London","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":55754838999418,"sku":"M16256","price":12.0,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0557\/1248\/1457\/files\/sriracha-pencil-case-5978647.jpg?v=1755266534"},{"product_id":"cassette-hub-4-port-usb-hub","title":"Cassette Hub  \u003e  4 Port USB Hub","description":"\u003ch3\u003ePlug in. Tune out.\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eIt looks like a cassette. It’s actually a USB hub. So, basically nostalgia with functionality—rare, we know.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cspan\u003eFour ports. Zero rewinding. \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003eGreat for charging your devices, confusing Gen Z, and pretending your cable management is intentional.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Mustard London","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":55756987498874,"sku":"M11073","price":15.0,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0557\/1248\/1457\/files\/cassette-hub-4-port-usb-hub-4644424.jpg?v=1755266533"},{"product_id":"hot-dog-computer-mouse","title":"Hot Dog Mouse","description":"\u003ch3\u003eThe Desktop Dog\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eIt's a hotdog. It's a mouse. It's the reason Karen from Accounts keeps doing double-takes. The only hotdog that won’t leave grease on your keyboard.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eThis wireless hot dog wonder (includes dongle) serves up 100% distraction with zero nutritional value and scrolls smoother than your lunch order.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Mustard London","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":55757252329850,"sku":"M11083","price":20.0,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0557\/1248\/1457\/files\/hot-dog-computer-mouse-1364289.png?v=1755266530"},{"product_id":"power-bar-travel-phone-charger","title":"Power Bar - Travel Charger","description":"\u003ch3\u003eWatt-A-Bar\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eThis isn’t your average sugar hit. It’s a portable charging block disguised as a chocolate bar.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eInside this deceptive delight? Both USB-C and iPhone connectors — because unlike your last date, it’s actually compatible.  Great for travel, emergency Zoom calls, or that existential moment when your phone hits 2% and you're nowhere near a plug.\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Mustard London","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":55757634634106,"sku":"M11081","price":20.0,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0557\/1248\/1457\/files\/power-bar-travel-charger-1407615.png?v=1789752506"},{"product_id":"hot-lips-ceramic-trinket","title":"Hot Lips Ceramic Trinket","description":"\u003ch2\u003eLove A Good Pout\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eFinally—something to hold your pens and your unresolved feelings. This 80s-style ceramic pout keeps your desk or vanity looking like it belongs to someone who definitely has a favorite shade of sarcasm. Lip-shaped. Attention-seeking. Surprisingly useful. Just like you.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cspan\u003eLet your clutter kiss off.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Mustard London","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":56228253041018,"sku":"M14004","price":20.0,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0557\/1248\/1457\/files\/hot-lips-ceramic-trinket-3477295.png?v=1781300835"},{"product_id":"fries-n-scribes","title":"Fries 'N' Scribes Ceramic Penpot","description":"\u003ch2\u003eHold the Fries\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"0\" data-end=\"321\"\u003eFinally, a reason to keep your desk tidy: it now looks like a side of fries. This pen pot doesn’t promise organisation, motivation, or self-improvement. It just sits there, looking deliciously incapable of judgment, while holding your stationery upright like a proud little cardboard hero.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"323\" data-end=\"444\"\u003ePerfect for anyone who believes their workspace should feel more like a fast-food counter and less like a filing cabinet.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Mustard London","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":56228428841338,"sku":"M16249","price":15.0,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0557\/1248\/1457\/files\/fries-n-scribes-ceramic-penpot-8718144.png?v=1764023218"},{"product_id":"reinspired_motivational_flipbook","title":"Reinspired - The Flipbook That Inspires No One","description":"\u003ch3\u003e\u003cspan\u003eFlip through your feelings. Or don’t. Whatever..\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eBarely Motivated Since... Whenever.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cspan\u003eThis is your daily dose of half-hearted encouragement in a format no one asked for: a desktop flipbook of 80s-style motivational posters, each one more disillusioned than the last.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cspan\u003eExpect slogans like:\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cspan\u003e“Goals - aspirations built on exhaustion.”\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cspan\u003e“Balance - Work, Cry, Sleep, Repeat.”\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cspan\u003e“Teamwork - makes the workload unclear.”\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cspan\u003eIt’s like therapy, but less effective - and cheaper.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cspan\u003e52 pages of retro-flavoured realism (one for each week) to help you laugh quietly while everything burns gently in the background.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Mustard London","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":56231873020282,"sku":"M15035","price":12.0,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0557\/1248\/1457\/files\/reinspired-the-flipbook-that-inspires-no-one-1036308.png?v=1764116963"},{"product_id":"workplace-wisdom-flipbook","title":"Workplace Wisdom Flipbook","description":"\u003ch3\u003e\u003cspan\u003eInspire Me Later..\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eBecause burnout deserves branding too.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cspan\u003eWork can wait. So can your attitude.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cspan\u003eThis desktop flipchart delivers exactly zero productivity hacks — just a daily dose of corporate disillusionment, thinly disguised as motivation.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cspan\u003eInside: 52 pages of painfully relatable, workplace-themed quotes like:\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cspan\u003e“Procrastinate Like a Pro - \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cspan\u003eMaster the art of delaying the inevitable.”\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cspan\u003e“Dream Small - Manageable ambitions. Minimal stress”\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cspan\u003ePerfect for cubicles, home offices, and emotional walls you haven’t broken through yet.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Mustard London","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":56232009499002,"sku":"M15037","price":12.0,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0557\/1248\/1457\/files\/workplace-wisdom-flipbook-9133697.png?v=1764116966"},{"product_id":"the-80s-hotline-case","title":"The 80'S Hotline Case","description":"\u003ch3\u003eNow With 100% No Signal\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"67\" data-end=\"169\"\u003eFor urgent pens, emotional highlighters, cosmetics, cables and other desk emergencies.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"304\" data-end=\"569\"\u003eThe 80s Hotline Case keeps your pens, pencils, cables and everyday chaos in one place while looking like it’s ready to take a very dramatic call. 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\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan class=\"BZ_Pyq_fadeIn\"\u003eNot \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan class=\"BZ_Pyq_fadeIn\"\u003emedically, \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan class=\"BZ_Pyq_fadeIn\"\u003eobviously. \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan class=\"BZ_Pyq_fadeIn\"\u003eBut \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan class=\"BZ_Pyq_fadeIn\"\u003espiritually? \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan class=\"BZ_Pyq_fadeIn\"\u003ePotentially.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Mustard London","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":56683349639546,"sku":"M12063","price":12.0,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0557\/1248\/1457\/files\/the-emergency-snack-box-6609011.jpg?v=1773480142"},{"product_id":"gummy-bear-pen-pot-pink","title":"Gummy Bear Pen Pot Pink","description":"\u003ch3\u003eThe bear minimum.\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe only gummy bear that's good for you. 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