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Meet the man behind the Mustard Madness

In a world of grey suits and serious faces, there's one man who's been rockin' the boat since the days of tight lycra and the Titanic. Meet Colonel Mustard, aka Reuben Utudjian, the genius with a penchant for mischief and a heart like the Spandeau Ballet hit.

Imagine if a disco ball and a unicorn had a love child. Now add a dash of Boy George and a heavy pour of 90s MTV glam, and what do you get? A non-stop madman hellbent on developing eclectic products for the beautifully mental masses.

For over two fabulous decades, the Colonel has been throwing confetti at the drabness of daily life, turning the dial up on delirium, and pushing the envelope so far it's ended up in another postcode. His mantra? If it ain't fun, chuck it in the bin. Inspired by everything from Warhol to your mums’ magz, our designs are a high-five to your inner troubled teen, daring it to come out and indulge in some light arson.

About us

Don’t get it twisted, we’re not here to spice up your pantry. We're here to spice up your life

Colonel Mustard isn't just about slinging sass and peddling happiness; he's on a mission to make your world brighter, your smile wider, and your day just that bit less rubbish. "Without you," he quips, "we're just throwing a party in an empty room.

And remember, growing old is like a bad haircut - it happens. But growing up? That's like pineapple on pizza - it's a choice. So let's keep dancing like nobody's watching, laughing like we're not in a library, and living like every day's a leap year.

Cheers to the misfits, the dreamers, and the midnight snackers. To the ones who believe socks should never match and that cereal with beer is a legitimate dinner option.

With all the mischief and a cherry on top,

The Colonel and his Mustard Massive

Reuben xx

P.S. Keep the party in your heart, and let's paint the town Mustard.